


My Best Friend

by SetiaPrenn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Character Study, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, i am. so soRRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetiaPrenn/pseuds/SetiaPrenn
Summary: My name is Iwaizumi Hajime, and I'm in love with my best friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry.

My name is Iwaizumi Hajime, and I’m in love with my best friend. 

 

His name is Oikawa Tooru, and he really is something else. If you are an acquaintance of his, he is easy to get along with. As a friend, you  _ may _ need to read his instruction manual, but you would get there. As a close friend he would be a handful, his personality already being overbearing, in combination with his tendency to load his problems on the people he trusts.

 

As his best friend however... Okay, I’ll put it frankly. As a best friend Oikawa Tooru is a royal fucking pain in the ass. I never get a moment of rest, he is either always with me or leaves at least one message in my phone at all times. We walk to school together, have class together, spend most of our free time together. More often than not we end up staying the night at each other’s houses too, when it has gotten too late to even bother to walk home.

 

He never seems to run out of stuff to talk about. Whether it be the things he did with and without me, his family, this funny video he saw on the internet, or this girl that tried to confess to him. At this point i only have to nod and grunt at the right moment when he rambles, his voice sometimes becoming just a comforting background noise.  
  
But even though I complain I’ll have to admit to myself that I’m glad he tells me these things. That way I will know when something is bothering him, and god knows how self-destructive he can get. Even if he still is a pain in the ass, i’d rather that pain being in my ass than his own. In a manner of speaking.

 

Hajime and Tooru, Tooru and Hajime. Inseparable since forever. 

Unlike the rest of it, the story of how we met isn’t at all that spectacular. There wasn’t any breath-taking action, explosions, fireworks, staring deep in the abyss of each other’s eyes as we bumped into each other in some busy area as the first autumn leaves began to fall. 

Nah, the truth is that we knew each other since we were literally still in diapers. My mom knew Tooru’s mom, and apparently they decided to do some “mutual-mom-bonding”; looking after their babies together while our dads went back to work again. 

 

Now, I’m not going to say that I remember the first time I saw Tooru, because I really don’t. How the fuck could I? Both of us couldn’t do much more than lay around, poop, and cry if something didn’t please us. 

 

What I  _ do _ remember is growing up. Our houses were next to each other, and I remember Tooru being there with me at every step along the way. I’m sure he does too. Same school, same friends, same adventures. Our parents never blinked twice anymore when we barged into one of our houses together. Tooru’s parents feel like my aunt and uncle anyway, I’m sure mine do for him too. 

 

I know Tooru like no one else does, and he knows me. That instruction-manual of his his regular friends need, has for me been replaced with a full blown encyclopedia. I know how he overdoes the things he loves, how he digs himself a hole, and jumps right into it when it goes wrong. I know how he reached for the shovel to fill the same hole again, with him inside this time, and I know how to dig him out and to keep the shovel away from him. 

I know how he laughs, the fake ones and the real ones, when his brown eyes light up, small wrinkles appear under them and how he slightly raises his shoulders in excitement. 

I know how how he can be arrogant, sometimes downright narcissistic, being his flamboyant self all over the place, like he wants to shout of the rooftops how great he is. And I know how that covers up deep layers of self-doubt and borderline obsessive perfectionism, that being how he gets into that metaphorical hole in the first place.

 

I know how passionate he gets about the things he loves. How he flaunts his arms when he talks about it, his eyes bright and voice agitated. I can watch him for hours if he gets like that, even if I don't always share the passion. I know how the same passion can ignite him in anger, ready to defend the thing he loves. 

 

Although some people might disagree with me, Oikawa Tooru is an amazing person. He has always been there, for me, in my life. When I was around 15, I began to realize that I loved him. Loved him like  _ that _ . 

Man, I still remember that shit coming in like a sledgehammer, I hadn’t even figured out that I was gay. I knew he was too; not straight. Not to play into stereotypes, but I mean, he was that kind of person that you take one look at and go “yep. there he goes. another homosexual.”

 

I wanted to tell him. I was  _ going _ to tell him. After so many years of friendship this wouldn’t have been the first crisis we went through. We went through everything together, this wouldn’t be any different. And if he did answer my feelings, felt the same, it would only have gone better from there on. 

 

I let myself dream. We’d grow even closer, even more than we were now. I would have trusted Tooru with my life, give it to him on a silver platter to do with as he pleased. I’d get to spend my time, maybe even my life, with my favourite person in the whole wide world. 

 

Soon i would go over to his house, probably trembling from the nerves. Tooru would notice at once, of course. With just the two of us, I would tell him about the way I felt. Despite having written whole damn speeches in my head I’d fuck up anyway and stumble over my words, but in a way it would make it more genuine. 

His eyes would widen, surprised, maybe even shocked by my words. I would wait for his answer, almost anxiously so. 

 

Regardless of how he would answer, we would be fine. We always were.

  
  
  


 

 

If only, that never happened. 

 

I remember the phone call. I was sitting in the living room, scrolling through my phone, when the phone rang. My mother answered, her cheerful tone quickly making room for a more serious one, tense. The color drew away from her face, and I felt the atmosphere in the room change before she had even said anything. 

 

“Hajime,” she said in a strange voice. “Grab your coat, we need to get to the hospital.”

 

“What, why?” My voice was stable, but I felt the anxiety beginning to claw in my gut, fed by the sudden tense air. “Mom?”

 

“Tooru’s mom called,” my mom answered while she quickly shrugged on her coat, voice carrying a slight tremor. “He- Tooru had an accident. A car- they didn’t know anything yet, but she asked us to come.”

 

I felt ice cold, I think my hands were shaking. During the ride to the hospital I didn’t say anything, and neither did my mother. I stared out of the window, eyes wide but not taking in my surroundings. 

 

_ ‘He will be fine.’ _ I told myself.  _ ‘When we arrive he will wave at me and start whining, and I’ll have to yell at him to be careful. He will be fine.’ _

 

He wasn’t fine. 

 

When we arrived, there was news. His parents sat together in the waiting room when we came in, the room feeling like it had a dark cloud as a ceiling. 

 

A hit and run, an old woman as a witness, an ambulance that arrived a minute (a second) too late.

 

Nothing would be fine ever again.

 

My name is Iwaizumi Hajime, and my best friend is dead. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said im _Sorry._
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _This was originally part of a bigger idea for a fic, but too busy to write all of it and when i wrote this (at 1am) i was actually rlly satisfied with how this came out, so I'm posting it as a stand alone._  
>   
> 
> __  
> _If you want to know the idea I had anyway dont hessitate to leave a comment or send my a message on my_[tumblr](http://foeyauic.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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